Etching dreams on the white paper of memories…

 

Lonely but with you..

The waters seem to answer silent questions of the heart...

 

My feelings are flying through the blue sky..
Noone’s watching them go by..

Clutching the wings of my heart..
As it aches when you say bye and depart..

As my fingertips touch the Keys..
Imprinting the emotions of regrets..
A reckless talent of quick speech I make..
Hours to recover from pain , I take..

Living in the bubble of imaginary love..
Pleasing my floating heart somehow..
Looking at your eyes which are bright like sun..
Blinding me forever ,in pain I moan…

Wish I could take a photograph of my love..
Pin it up and display it to you now..
Your words are an object of my desire..
Curiosity blazing like unending fire..

Fading away colours of happy hours..
Building up sorrow like majestic towers..
I fall apart evrytime you yell..
Curdling and twisting

my gut like hell..

Falling in love without provocation..
Caring for you everytime with dedication..
Irking you is never my intention..
But you leave me alone in my depression..

I couldn’t say.. But I can write..
Don’t leave me in this plight..
Even though my faults are too apparent..
I still need your valuable comments..

Times are getting tougher..
And you are getting farther..
Don’t do this so many times..
That without you I start feeling fine..

~~~$ap~~~

P.s : One who bear your negatives loves you for what you are.. keeping away from such a person would fetch you lonliness..
Above poem is written taking a situation where fights happen on silly matters.. and anger of one aggravates so much that the other is left speechless and in tears..
However the angry one leaves the scene for some fresh air and solace.. Now what happens if thse kind of situations happen many times.. and more frequently.. well the thoughts of that
person in tears are penned down.. Hope I could write up to the mark..!

Read the quote below somewhere…
Needing someone is like needing a parachute.
If he isn’t there the first time you need him,
chances are you won’t be needing him again.

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It started when I was a child. Always trying to do right so as to make sure no one was disappointed in me. Numerous occasions where I never threw tantrums at home for going on a school trip , just to make my parents happy , to make them feel I always listen to them even if I felt it was a safe trip.. or when my friends asked me for some help ( could be as silly as replying to casual mails at office ) when I am loaded with work, or when I had and wanted to do something else but I end up succumbing to others desires. All this was just to MAKE SURE NO ONE WAS DISAPPOINTED IN ME!!

Truth is that I never felt someone acknowledge my doings. Was it that they felt its “Normal” ME? …. What is “Normal” me actually..??  Someone who does not expect anything..? In the first place I expect nobody to feel unhappy about me.. Times taught me that its not possible to keep everyone happy or rather make everyone feel happy about me.. There has been numerous case where the closeness is CLOSED! Right.. relationships didn’t work for me because they felt I wasn’t the way they wanted me to be.. while all the while I had been trying to make exactly the opposite… to what they wanted me to….

Not much has changed except the massive number of people I can disappoint now. I try so very hard on a daily basis to say the right things and do the right things so that no one is unhappy with me. Most days, making a decision is left for someone else because my choice may inconvenience them. I try to point out the silver lining in everything so others can find some happiness, too. I try.

To be honest, it’s exhausting. And the trouble is, I don’t know how to stop. I don’t know how to not care. And what is worse than disappointing someone else? Well, nothing- but disappointing myself is a close second.

The Mirror of truth

Drink the truth..

Come rain,  floods or just seasons..

I can hear your heart’s summons..

As I look back into my past..

I can see lot of shadows cast..

About friendships

About brotherhood

About love

And about everything else..

Swallowing every drop of those moments..

I wish nobody would ever lament..

For as I peer at my future..

It almost looks the same!

~~~$ap~~~

Tu mil jaye…

Waiting girl...

Mulakaat ki ek aasha...

Dhoondu mein tujhe hi..
Har lamha har pal bhi..
Mere liye tu hi hai sahi..
Chod ke na jao kabhi..

Aankhon mein ye kaisi nami..
Sooni Raahon mein tu mil jaye kahin..
Pal wo lagay mujhe haseen..
Thamay mera haath tu jab bhi..

Dil mein hai ek aag lagi..
Aansu se mere sapne bheegi..
Bhuja jaye koi ..

Kar de meri duniya rangeeli..

Tere chehre pe dekhu kiran nayi..
Jagaa de aasha mann mein meri..
Ban jau mein sirf teri..
Kyu rahun mein tujh bin hamesha akeli..

Zindagi mein ek hi kami..
Kasoor tera bhi to nahi..
Waqt jo chaahay hoga wahi..
Kya hoga aagay mein jaanu nahi..

Dhoondu mein tujhe hi..

Har lamha har pal bhi..
Mere liye tu hi hai sahi..
Chod ke na jao kabhi..

Aankhon mein ye kaisi nami..
sooni inn Raahon mein tu mil jaye kahin..

~~~$ap~~~

Forever With YOU…

“Heyy.. where are you going.. why are you behaving like this..”

“Just stay away ok?? Why are you following me.. ???? ”

Vicky crossed the road in a hurry and got away in a Taxi..

Chian stood there irritated and perplexed.. sad and confused…

Chian had no idea why Vicky was angry with him.. why was she not telling him his fault.. he was ready to apologize if he did wrong.. he loved her immensely..
Its been 3 days and Vicky doesn’t even call back..

They had met at a book exhibition.. her persona complimented so well with his.. Both were orphans and this emotion brought them together even more…. They understood each other so well..
Chian did not realize when they had fallen in love after that…

Vicky was charismatic.. she loved him a lot .. they were to marry soon..
But things didn’t remain same.. Vicky was changing thought Chain… Probably she is seeing someone else.. She must be avoiding him.. he felt a surge of anger for her…
Back home Chian switched his cell off and tried to get some sleep.. He was unable to sleep thinking of Vicky…. It rained heavily that night..

Vicky ran.. as fast as she could.. With no hopes of escaping.. But she had to run.. Run for her life.. He would kill her otherwise and feast on her.. She knew it very well..
Loss of breath.. and lack of energy combined with fear , pain and tiredness.. she felt weak.. as she ran.. Her limbs refused to move now..she stood with her heads low..
Trying to pull in oxygen from the mouth.. she wheezed.. her lungs groaned..

She faintly saw her feet sinking into the swamp, her toes got sticky with mud.. she folded her pants upto her knees..
Standing shivery , beneath a canopy of weak branches of a thorny tree.. The creepy noises all over were wrenching her gut…
It was cold and she was dripping wet.. the rains refused to slow down.. she looked all around.. she was so scared that she just rolled her eye-balls to look around..
she was damn frightened .. What if the cannibals find her.. she could hear faint voices.. She was not sure which direction they came from.. But she knew she was not safe..
It was dark.. she looked at her watch.. It had stopped working.. she didn’t know what time it was.. day or night.. Must be night she thought.. she tried to look at the sky.
The dense vegetation in the forest obstructed every possible view to the outside world.. It was pitch dark.. she could hear her  heart thumping now..

Closing her eyes she prayed.. Why isn’t Chian trying to find her.. where is he.. where are all the people.. her friends.. She was missing Chian the most..Tears flowed down profusely from her eyes.. fear engulfed her completely.She dialed his number.. but.. switched off…

Her ear drums vibrated.. As she heard the loudest thunder!! A chill ran down her spine.. The bright lightning blinded her.. She saw fire.. The lightning has struck and made its presence felt..
The wild flame got closer.. She was unaware of the consequences.. She took a step forward and fell flat on the ground.. her lips perfectly kissing the muddy water.. she suddenly realized she was sinking..
Pulling force of the swamp, the quick sand were dragging her deep down somewhere.. struggling for life.. clutching the sludge with her fist and beating her limbs hard..suffocating and gasping..

“Broken nose , severe laryngospasm, sealing the upper airway, loss of consciousness due to hypoxemia, lungs filled with water leading to death”, Dr. Anne said.

The police, doctors, family .. all were there.. Vicky’s body was returned after the postmortem to her family.

Chian was broken.. He was shattered.. He could not save and somehow he was the culprit.. His girl was no more..He wanted to marry her and spend the rest of his life with her….

“I must be punished.. I was not with her when she needed me.. ” , Chian said in his shrill voice..

“You are not to blame.. It was not under your control.. She was drugged..”, Dr.Anne said in a concerned voice.

“Drugged for what..??? She doesn’t take any medicines.. for god’s sake.. “, Chain yelled..

“Vicky was a somnambulist…a sleep walker….”, Chian knew it…

Dr. Anne continued.. “What you are not aware was that she suffered from Alzheimer’s disease…. She instructed me not to tell you.. she had loved you a lot.. she wanted you to hate her so that you move on  in life…. ” the shock on Chian’s face was evident..

He was astonished, frightened and dumbstruck…

The police said aloud.. ” Vicky Zhu, 30 , found dead in the bath tub, under a running shower. The cause of death being suffocation and drowning. Nobody living or dead is responsible for this. Case closed ”

Every incident flashed in front of his eyes.. He felt defeated.. A loss irreplaceable.. His tears were frozen… lips sealed.. and walked out….

For he became an ORPHAN again and forever this time………….

Orphan again 😦

 

Dear All……

Understanding & Controlling Anger is one of the most difficult thing in the world and I bet that we all are a prey to its consequences..As the saying goes.. Thing that starts in anger ends in shame..

Many of us must have already gone through such situations.. We yell when we are angry and say unwanted things to loved ones. Then when we get calm we realize we shouldn’t have done it..

“Anger makes your mouth work faster than your mind. “… But once spoken .. words cant be taken back.
But what makes us to shout, did anybody know this.
I didn’t know till i saw something interesting told in a different way….Read the article…you will certainly enjoy it……….

A saint asked his disciples, ‘Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?’

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, ‘Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.’

‘But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?’ asked the saint.
‘Isn’t it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you’re angry?’

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint.

Finally he explained, ‘When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.’

Then the saint asked, ‘What happens when two people fall in love? They don’t shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small…’

The saint continued, ‘When they love each other even more, what happens?

They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that’s all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.’

Conclusion:
When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more,else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.

I agree that situations overtake all the above principles. But no harm in trying to follow it at least.

Yelling until the throat erupts...

Shouting at the top of their voices..!!

If its in your mind.. U never know.. U may overcome impulsive anger one day..
And you wil be glad.. that u ever read this blog…:):)

“ANGER IS ONE LETTER SHORT OF DANGER”

Of late I have come to realize that unless you get up and try, nothing will come to you. This need not be necessarily applied to big things in life.. :If you need a friend, the best way is to become one first.

Friendship is something that needs nurturing at every stage. There is nothing called a new friend and an old friend actually. Its the time and interest that we show on each other which builds as friendship. We need to make genuine efforts to know the person and oblige to his/her interests and feelings.

It is then that a bond.. a link.. an inseparable thought.. an imaginary line that connects the heart and brain of friends is created. Have u ever pondered… why is it that every single thing that you do.. is always told and shared with your friend. What makes your friend keep the conversation rolling .. and you still have so much to talk.. in spite of being together all day long..?? Why those sms s continue till the time ur dead sleepy?? Why u call ur friend as soon as u get the wildest dreams?? All true… but no exact reason why you choose this particular friend or friends.. :):)

The first step has to be taken , only then the journey can start. So why cant we be the one to kick off a conversation??
Difference of opinions happen, trivial fights, silly discussions, worthless arguments … all are a part of a healthy friendship.. coz this shows that both friends are listening to what the other wants to express. Once they are done with all the talking and sharing ( be it a small fight ) , they know in that whatever is in their hearts has been told. So no hard feelings are stored and grown.

Talking and sorting is one of the best fertilizer for friendship. Once you realize this fact and practice it, you will know that there is great understanding between the two and no topic of difference would break it.. :):)

As long as you can, try to make and keep your friends happy. I am sure it will give you double the happiness to see them smile. When both know the reason behind this SMILE, what eternal depth the friendship would create. 🙂

AHead 1 Step!

Courage to take that ONE step!!

Later in life… one day when ur all alone in your house… having a cup of coffee… and remember the good old days.. you will remember all the smiles that you created and all the smiles you yourself gave.. and all the silly talks and arguments that happened will make u smile.. once more… and for ever…

Seasons come.. seasons go.. flowers ,.. sunshine… violets and dew… all are guests that come and go..
So make every moment special.. Its in your hands.. so get up .. and take the first step.. :):)( Its always nice to know that some1 never forgets you.. isn’t it??????? )

:):)

Quote from a collection : If kisses were water, I will give u sea. If hugs were leaves, I will give u a tree.If u luv a planet, I will give u a galaxy, if friendship is life I will give u mine. :):):)